Last weekend was a friend's birthday and a bunch of us from work went out for dinner and then later on to a bar. Not just any bar, however. This was a gay bar.
Once a month The Fly nightclub has an Indian night called "Besharam", in Hindi meaning "Shameless". I've heard stories of all kinds of weird stuff going on. I didn't mind though. I've got my share of acquaintances who live alternative lifestyles, and I've pretty much seen it all.
In fact, I was sincerely looking forward to catching a little girl-on-girl action. Unfortunately the event must've been pretty toned down from before, because inside there wasn't really much to distinguish it from a regular "straight" night club. All of the women I ran into that night had shaved underarms, and there were no requests for the Indigo Girls (or even an Indian equivalent).
What really disappointed me, however, was that there were no free drinks to be had at all. I stood up at the bar looking my sexiest hoping that for once someone would buy me a drink, and not once did any guy approach me. Maybe there's some technique to scoring drinks that I'm not clueing in to. Should I whore myself up some more? Keep a roll of quarters in my pants? Do a that move that Sharon Stone did in Basic Instinct?
Ladies... some help here please. I'm counting on your input.
The other day a bunch of us from work went rock climbing in some indoor place in Toronto. We were all told to pair off and advised to choose carefully, because they held the rope at the bottom and literally, our life was in our partner's hands. Unlike grade school, this was one sport where I actually wanted the fat kid on my team.
Fortune had other plans for me though, and I ended up with a little slip of a girl who looked like a stiff breeze would carry her away. Already I was having visions of plummetting to the ground while she was yanked into the air by the other end of the rope, like a scene in some bad comedy.
As it turns out it really doesn't matter what the difference in weight is, the person at the bottom just has to know when to hold on to the rope and when to let go. Simple, right?
Twice she nearly dropped me. Fortunately the safety catch kicked in and kept me from hitting the ground. Hanging there suspended in mid-air I thought of being beaten by a mob of blindfolded kids with sticks looking for candy. Fortunately for me we were plenty far from Mexico.
The first walls were fairly easy but they got exponentially more difficult, to the point where you had to hoist yourself up with two fingers on a round rock while doing bicep curls with your free hand and riding a stationery bike with your legs.
I was exhausted by the end of it but it was an afternoon well-spent. Next time though I'm going on my birthday, and with a big stick. I'm gettin' me some candy!
