"A million monkeys banging on a million typewriters for a million years will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare."

So I made the paper yesterday. A section of the Globe and Mail was devoted to all of the graduates of the CMA program across Canada. I'm just glad that my first mention in a national newspaper didn't include a mug shot.

In a rush to get out the door this morning my dress shoes slipped on our freshly-sealed driveway, still wet from last night's rain. The way I fell made me look like a puppy the Cottonelle commercial that tries to run through the kitchen and collapses with all four limbs going in different directions. My left leg went under the car and I banged my shin on the door. Sonofabitch.

And it's not even winter yet.

My graduation was this weekend. 400 new CMA's and their friends and family packed the hall in the Westin Harbour Castle hotel on Saturday. It was kind of cool... they marched us all in with bagpipe marching band, and brought in Preston Manning as the keynote speaker. The pyrotechnics concluding the ceremony kind of freaked me out though. I was half-expecting a pro wrestler to come off the stage afterwards.

There was a dinner and dance after the reception, but I was a little disappointed by both. The severs poured half-glasses of wine and then took the bottles away, domestic beer at the cash bar was $6.75 and the dance didn't do anything for me.

I would have figured a roomful of accountants to be some wild and crazy party animals. Go figure.

Yes, that's right. Opera. Me. Who'd a thunk it?

On Saturday I went to see Carmen in Toronto with Erin. Her friend Katherine was playing a courtesan in the production and she had an extra ticket due to her opera companion bailing last-minute.

I gotta say I didn't know what to expect, especially since these things are usually in another language. Fortunately for me and my horrible French, there's a screen with subtitles above the stage, big enough for us to read even from our rafter seats in row ZZ.

As the opera was written in the 19th century, they kinda layed it on thick with the romantic stuff, but the music was pretty good. The only problem is during Habanera all I could think about was that Tropicana commercial from a few years back where the orange was trying to squeeze itself into the bottle. I've been humming that tune all week now.

As for Katherine's performance, she makes a pretty convincing prostitute. She should consider working undercover; I'm sure the boys in blue would love to have her.

The rest of the weekend was good. John's uncle came down from Kingston and we did 18 holes Sunday morning at Granite Ridge. Cart rental was two bucks... couldn't go wrong. The weather was a bit chilly though... I was wearing three layers and my fingers were still trembling while I was trying to put. The cold must have done me good though, because every one of my drives went straight. That's never happened to me before, and probably will never again.

After a turkey dinner witht the folks I went over to John's for some poker and came out of it a hundred bucks richer. I felt bad taking his 20, being that he has two kids to look after an another on the way, but yesterday he phoned me to say he won $1,000 calling in to a radio station. Damn.

This is supposed to be a short week but seems like a long one at work. The days have been dragging by sooo slowly. I think I need another long weekend.

I had the honour and privellege of being invited to Dave's wedding this weekend. The outdoor ceremony at Old Mill was at the most beautiful setting I had ever seen for a wedding, and the weather really co-operated.

I was also amazed by Lena's handiwork, from the dresses to the little fall theme knick-knacks to the invitations to the pumpkin wedding cake. I can't imagine how much time and stress these would have taken her to do.

The day was perfect, and it was nice to catch up with some old friends, as well as to finally meet Joe's lovely new wife, Stacey.

Congratulations, Dave and Lena!

Thank God. For TV entertainment I was almost tempted to put on Desperate Housewives.

Took in the first game of the year at the local watering hole with a bunch of friends. Kinda went crazy with the beer and wings though... our bill at the end of the night was pretty big. Guess it didn't help that I showed up over an hour before the game cuz I was organizing the outing and wasn't sure what time people were showing up. Waiting is thirsty work.

I kinda like the new shootout format that they do if overtime ends with no decision. Didn't much like last night's result however, but six pitchers of beer goes a long way towards numbing the pain.

Looks like Mats here could use a few, too.

Had a very expensive nine holes of golf this week. Went to Burlington Springs golf course on Sunday for a twilight round. Being end of season and also that we were going to be one of the last ones on the course, I decided to keep the jeans on that I was wearing. Normally by now the dress code is relaxed a bit.

That mistake, and the stuffy prick at the pro shop cost me 40 bucks in the form of a new pair of shorts, because if he let me on the course with jeans, he had to let everybody on with jeans as well.

I would have left but I would have been screwing over my friends as well. Oh well, these jeans and I are going elsewhere to golf next time.

This one in North York. I'm actually surprised I was invited in the first place. The guy getting married is my friend's friend's fiance. Oh well, any excuse to go out for beers.

The night started with some confusion in the restaurant. Apparently there were two parties there under the name "Kevin" where the guests didn't necessarily know each other. I was splitting a pitcher with this guy and his wife and it was half an hour before we realized they were at the wrong table. I ran into the girl later on and she told me that our party was a lot more fun than hanging out with her husband's business associates.

After hitting another bar we made our way to the peelers for the obligatory embarassment. By this point there were only about seven of us left. There was no best man (he lived in the Soo and couldn't make it) and half had never been inside a strip club.

Because of that, it kinda fell on me to run the show. Got him up on stage, lapdances, etc, etc. Did you know that if you ask for two girls to dance at once, each of them charges 1.5 times the normal rate? Neither did I until now.

I also found out that some of the girls get insulted if you ask them to fool around with their coworkers, but for the right price there's always someone willing. I hope Kevin got our money's worth.