"A million monkeys banging on a million typewriters for a million years will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare."

I just my car insurance renewal this week. After everything, my premiums actually went down from last year. Guess they haven't caught wind yet of my latest infraction. Let's just keep this between you and me, okay?

So I went to see a chiropractor this week after the right side of my back was killing me from helping my friend move. Apparently my hip is crooked from a couple of the joints being fused and it's causing my spine to be crooked as well. It's an old injury that gets aggrivated from over-exertion. Thing is, I have no idea where or when this injury might have happened.

Treatment started this morning where the doctor is pushing bones around to realign my spine. Now I have pain on my left side instead of my right, as those muscles aren't used to being where they should be. I guess in his mind that sort of evens things out, who knows.

This stuff isn't supposed to be happening to me until I'm old and decrepit, goddammit. At least the treatments are mostly covered by my benefits. My friend is getting an invoice for the remainder in the mail.

Not one week into spring and a bird has already left its mark on the hood of my car. Happy Easter.

This weekend I helped my buddy move into his new apartment. It's about time; he has two kids and until now had been living with his parents. Just after 8 o'clock on Saturday he pulled up to my driveway in his U-Haul. Those trucks are notoriously bad, but this one in particular was so loud I thought I was sitting on top of the engine.

After the mandatory Tim's run we got to his house to start moving things. Now I don't mind being manual labour, but at least they could have started packing! There were stuffed animals and books and toys and clothes and all kinds of things all over the place that we had to get through before we could even get to the furniture. We ended up dumping everything in one room, moving the furniture and then moving all the "crap" back to the first room to get at the furniture from the second. He did have a good excuse though. He had been pretty sick for a couple of days, and in addition he'd been preoccupied with his dad being in the hospital from being in a car accident.

His new apartment is pretty nice. It's in Glen Abbey near the arena and it looks like a good place to raise a family. The only problem was the three flights of stairs up to his place. It didn't seem like much at first, but those stairs do add up. To top it all off, I had screwed up my back in Europe and all of the lifting aggrivated it to the point that I was a near gimp. Even being treated to a Lick's burger the size of my head didn't make me feel better.

So they're slowly getting settled, after some issues reassembling their old warped waterbed, which I took care of with a drill and hammer. It had better be a long time before this guy leaves this apartment. Moving sucks, even after the free beer.

Last night my buddy Mike and I were looking for a place to have some green beer to celebrate our Irish descent. First stop was the Niblick pub in the plaza where the old Canadian Tire used to be. We walked up to the door and noticed they had put a tent over the patio as a way of increasing their capacity. When trying to get inside, however, we were stopped by a bouncer who said the place was full. Buh?

Next stop was a pub around the corner from my house that I hadn't been to yet, but from the lineup outside it looked like they were full, too. We decided it wasn't worth it to stand outside in the cold.

Desperate, the two of us drove to downtown Oakville and ended up drinking in some artsy-fartsy place. It was okay, but we were almost scared off by the "Dress Code in Effect" sign on the door. Next year I think I'll try Dublin instead.

I go bowling maybe once every couple of years or so and now I've gone twice in two weeks. This time wasn't any better. Instead of getting shown up by old ladies from work, I was beaten soundly by Lisa and her friends, and almost by her mom.

This little hole-in-the wall in Pickering featured it's own Bowling Nazi. The old lady that ran the place yelled at us for bringing food in, yelled at us for not parking straight (the lot was empty), yelled at me for taking my beer to close to the lane and yelled at me again for taking my drink six inches across her imaginary "no booze" line.

Lisa's brother was pretty pissed by the time we left and he went and flooded the toilets in the men's room. I hope that grumpy woman knows how to swim. No soup for you!

Thought that no one listened to C&C Music Factory anymore? Go here.

Yesterday I was in Whitby to see what I could get done about my tickets from January. As expected, I waited and waited and waited, but in the end I managed to get the expired license charge dropped and my speeding reduced from 145 to 129 km/h, bringing my fines down from $660 to about $140. I'd say it as a success.

I'm surprised how formal they are in the courtroom even for minor offences such as these. They took the time to read the charge, amend the charge reference the appropriate section of the Highway Traffic Act and then specify the penalty. I guess not having to do this before I was expecting something more along the lines of a Night Court episode.

Now that that's out of the way I can get back to my usual driving self. I figure the faster I go, the less time I actually spend on the road, the fewer my chances of getting caught.

I've been going non-stop since the weekend started. I was at the Air Canada Centre Friday night to watch The Rock play and my intention of coming home straight from the game went out the window when someone mentioned the Madison Pub. I ended up just missing the last GO train home (stupid subway) and had to cab it back to Oakville.

Saturday and Sunday were spend rotting in a hotel conference room during the last of six (woohoo!) weekend CMA sessions. The Society sponsored our overnight stay with the intention of us working on our final Board Report which is due this spring. Instead my group used my super-deluxe room (they ran out of regular ones I guess) to play some Texas Hold-'Em and pound back a few beers (the recycling box made a great ice bucket), before going up the street to Crocodile Rock where a guy from my group nearly got into a fight for grinding with some guy's girlfriend.

After a combined eight hours' sleep the previous two nights I had to present our case with my group Sunday morning. After the session I had barely enough time to wolf down some dinner before driving out to Pickering to crash at a friend's place. I had an appointment in Whitby early this morning and didn't want to fight the 401 during rush hour.

I'm exhausted... I think I've aged three years as many days. I feel almost 21.

... but at least I wasn't paying for it. My work was sponsoring an evening at Classic Bowl, including dinner (pizza, wings, etc.) and the first beer, and one of my coworkers still complained that it was outside of working hours. Why should she have to give up her own time?

So she missed out while I won a cool fleece vest in a draw at the end of the night. It almost makes up for being shown up by the ladies from Accounts Payable. It wasn't my fault, though. My lane was crooked.

There's no easy way to clean off the peppercorn sauce you spilled on the crotch of your beige pants at lunchtime without making it look like you had an "accident".

So begins the process of trying to fill the vacancies in my rental property for the coming school year. As of now three rooms are still available, so if anyone knows any Mac students looking for a place to rent, feel free to let them know. As an added bonus every room is internet-wired, no extra charge.

On an entirely unrelated note, my Hamilton Girls Gone Wild live webcam business is almost ready to go. The only thing left to do is to recruit the right talent.