m o n k e y ' s . t y p e w r i t e r

Heh... when it rains it pours (to use a tired cliche). After twiddling my thumbs for two and a half weeks at work I ended up putting in almost 12 hours today. That's the way accounting works, I guess. All of the reporting is done at month-end, so for three or four days at the end/beginning of the month it's crazy, then it dies down again.

It wasn't that bad, if a little frustrating at times. Since I'm new to the systems I kept making mistakes with my entries. I couldn't even count the number of times I had to reverse and do over my entries because the went in the wrong month or something. The worst was when I forgot to write down some document numbers the system spat out, so I had to go through searching for my mistakes. Everyone had a good laugh at my expense. =)

Tomorrow is likely to be the same as today. Worse maybe, cuz I there are some tasks that should have been finished already but couldn't because of system troubles. At least I feel like I'm earning my salary now.

I just realized that BlogVoices is down. I was wondering why no one was responding to my posts lately. Are you as pissed off about it as I am? Let me know.

Today was ergonomics day at work. There were workshops and things about good workstation design to minimize the stress put on the body. There was even a massage therapist. I went to see if I could get one, but I couldn't be bothered to wait for it. Even if I didn't have any work to do, I guess since I'm being paid I should try to be at my desk sometimes.

Instead I filled out a ballot and stuffed it into a box that was sitting at one of the tables. And won. I am now the proud owner of a camping backpack that converts into a folding chair. Maybe I'll go play the lottery tonight, too.

This found its way to my inbox:

You have just received the Amish virus. Since we have no electricity or computers, you are on the honour system. Please delete all files on your hard drive.

Then forward this message to everyone in your address book.

Thank thee.

This afternoon was the Finance golf tournament. For my first time golfing it was a lot of fun, despite the downpour on the last few holes. I actually did pretty well for my first time out, about average with everyone else. My first drive went 150 yards, and more importantly, STRAIGHT, which rarely happens. Just about everything else either sliced or dribbled off into the woods, but at least I had one or two good swings.

Once that was done I came home to change my clothes and then we all headed over to Jack Astor's for dinner. I don't think tomorrow is going to be as good a day as this one was.

Well I had a full weekend. The camping was fun, even though the weather didn't fully co-operate yesterday. I also found out exactly how smart raccoons can be. They invaded our site after nightfall, and even though all of our food was packed away in the car (or so we thought), they still managed to make off with a bag of bagels and other stuff.

Our garbage bag was nailed to the tree about five feet off of the ground, and one of the racoons actually climbed up, hung by one claw and used the other to paw through the open top. One he found something, he threw it on the ground. What I found amazing was that he didn't go after the food right away, but instead continued to go through the bag until there was nothing edible left.

They started getting braver, too. It got to the point where they wouldn't run from the flashlights anymore, but instead would just stare for a couple minutes and continue with their business, sometimes no more than a few feet away. They didn't even have the courtesy to look guilty.

We did a lot of hiking, and marshmallow roasting and all of the other stuff that goes on in campsites. I didn't get home until really late last night though, so when I got up for work this morning it felt like my head had just hit the pillow. It was worth it though, for the most relaxing weekend I've enjoyed in a long time.

Back from camping. I need a shower and a bed. More tomorrow.

MDV, I'd love to go out some day and whack balls with you. I can't this weekend because of the blisters on my hand, but maybe sometime next week you can give me some tips on gripping my shaft. With your help I can learn to swing the right way and maybe even get it in the hole, using as few strokes as possible. I'll call some friends to see if we can make it a foursome.

I bought my first CD for the first time in awhile. I was searching Napster for a couple of songs by Spoons and couldn't find them (even misspellings) because it was blocked. Out of curiosity, I headed over to HMV.com to see if they had a greatest hits CD. They did, and the price--after shipping--was $10. I thought that was worth it so I placed an order. Here it arrived a couple of days later, on my doorstep.

In case you're interested, Arias & Symphonies is available to your left for download.

I think this was my first day of actual work. Work, and a meeting. Well, not a meeting, really, but two and a half hours learning about how General Ledger works. I don't remember half of it, but if I need it I have wads of paper to use as reference material.

Not really an eventful day today, other than walking outside and seeing the present the geese left for me on the roof and back window of my car. Of course none of the other cars nearby were touched.

I hate geese. Well, uncooked geese, anyway.

Today a bunch of us from work took advantage of the nice weather and went out to the driving range for some practice during lunch. I think I did pretty well, considering I had no help from anyone. I just looked at how the guy next to me was doing it and tried my best to imitate him. It was the first time ever that I made some decent contact, so I was pretty pleased with myself once I heard that first thwack coming from my driver launching the ball..

Not that I'm ready to turn pro yet. With only a few exeptions, my balls consistently sliced at a 45 degree angle away from the tee. I managed to go through two buckets in about an hour and was rewarded with a chunk of skin torn from my index finger and a blister on the other side of my hand. I should really invest in a glove; it made it really difficult to type when I returned to my desk.

So at least I know I'm not going to make a complete idiot of myself come Monday. I didn't practice putting but I've got many summers' worth of minigolf experience under my belt. I think I'm beginning to like this game. Watch out, Tiger.

Test your knowledge. Do the Breast Test.
(MS Excel format.)

More rain today. Monday afternoon the Finance team is having a meeting on the green and I was hoping I could get in a couple practice rounds before then. Not today it seems. If this keeps up I'm going to make a complete ass of myself next week. It seems everyone there knows how to golf except me. Way to impress the new coworkers.

Ha... Trish got a kick out of my new pimpdaddy StorTrooper. Now he just needs some ho's and he's set. Any volunteers?

Yesterday was The Man Show marathon on The Comedy Network. I didn't see most of it cuz hockey was on, but the bits that I managed to watch made me thankful for the quality programming they grace us with.

Stupid rain. Oh well, my car was shiny for a day, at least.

My mom went on her annual cleaning rampage today. This meant tearing my room apart piece by piece and attacking it with her blue J-cloth. (Clean yes, germs no.) I don't understand this obsession she has with dust. She even removed all of the books from my bookshelf and stacked them in the hall, just so she could pull it forward and scrub the already immaculately clean wall.

I don't get this fetish of hers. I don't know who's going to notice. I mean guests will rarely find themselves upstairs, and even if they do they're not going to be peeking at the wall behind my dresser (which requires much grunting and groaning before it'll move an inch). The only thing she's accomplishing is creating work for herself, and consequently, me.

If she's really that bored she should start with my car instead.

Guys, here are some tips on how to impress your date.

Canadian Tire is easily my favourite department store. Where else can you find hockey equipment and auto parts separated by an aisle? Yesterday afternoon I spent some time in the auto care section, awed at the array of cleaning products available to pamper my baby. I left there with an arsenal of foams and soaps and waxes, ready to wage war against dirt and grime.

Dust seems to have an affinity for the dark green exterior of my car, especially when it rains. In short it's a dirt magnet, so yesterday I decided to give it a wash and a wax job. I don't have one of those fancy electric buffers so it was a little elbow grease, but an hour or so of work had my car all shiny and new-looking. Thanks to the wax it'll (hopefully) remain that way, even after it rains. I love a clean car.

Now if only Canadian Tire sold something that could rid me of the geese flying over the parking lot at work. Gas barbecue, maybe?

If I interpret his message correctly, it looks like the Entirely Other Day weblog won't be around anymore. Too bad, I'll miss his anecdotes.

Proof that girls are evil.

So as promised I went home at noon today. It was my supervisor's suggestion, though. The office was empty again, and those remaining also decided to go home early. I didn't argue.

I took the afternoon visiting NCR, where I spent 16 months toiling in their Finance department. It was nice to see some of the old faces again. There were plenty of new ones, however. Apparenly since I left there has been some wicked turnover in that department. I guess some things never change.

Now I'm home deciding what I should do for the long weekend. I was supposed to go camping this week, but my friend who was arranging the outing booked the wrong weekend. We've got a spot reserved for next Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Chances of booking something anywhere now? The only camping we'd be doing would be in my back yard. At least the washroom's close.

The cafeteria special at work: Beef Strokenof. No one else found it funny.

This strike at Petro-Can's refineries is working out well for me. The last two fillups I got Premium gas for the price of Regular due to shortages. Labour unrest can have its advantages.

Ever heard of the fountain of youth? I have. It comes in Colombian and House Blend in the cafeteria downstairs.

Here is a weblog of interest. I disagree wholly with her opinions, but I'm amazed that someone can feel so passionate about one subject that they can post something meaningful about it daily. I have the freedom to write about anything and everything, and sometimes I still have trouble coming up with something interesting for my audience to read.

I'm bored. Two coffee breaks and an extended lunch today and I still ended up going home at 3 o'clock. I'm not used to this lethargic pace at work. Everything used to be rush rush rush, with barely time to wolf down a couple bites of sandwich sometime in the afternoon. Now I sit at my desk with literally nothing to do but surf the web and try to look busy.

The training's been excellent. Just about everyone in the office has had a hand in showing me around the systems. The problem is between lessons I don't have anything to keep me busy. The office is also really quiet as everyone seems to be taking vacation this week, and most of those remaining (including my supervisors) are off-site, leaving four of us to hold the fort.

Not that I'm complaining. I hear I'll be much busier once month-end rolls around, but for now I'd actually be happier in the furious-paced and stressful environment I was in before. At least I felt useful.

Now that I think about it, I guess I am complaining. Oh well, everyone keeps telling me to enjoy it while it lasts. I guess I will. I think I'll go home at noon tomorrow.

Oh, and happy 52nd birthday, dad.

Work work work. I'm tired. Good night.

Trish, you might like the new Song of the Moment.

So yesterday was my inaugral day at work. Things seemed to go smoothly. They were more or less organized and seem to have my entire week planned so far. Most of my day was spent listening to others give me a high-level view of what my job will entail, focusing mostly on the month-end process. I didn't have any actual work to do, which I guess starts tomorrow.

One thing that didn't go smoothly was getting my passwords set up on all of the different systems. They have some sort of security fetish over there because most of my mine require uppercase, lowercase, numeric and special characters. I might as well have had the system generate some random password for me instead.

It's interesting to observe the differences in office culture between this place and my last full-time job. The Finance department I worked in before this was mostly young females. Here there's a more even guy/girl ratio, and many of them have been with the company since before I was in high school. There seems to be less work-related stress, but they're also more conservative so I have to be careful with my antics. And everyone's into golf for some reason, which does not bode well for me. Ah well, driving a golf ball can't be much different than shooting a puck.

The office is very open, and I work right across from my boss. Good because I can quickly get questions answered, bad because I won't be able to open naughty email attachments without getting fired.

Another thing that sort of jumps out at you is their passion for everything to do with safety. In the next two days alone I've got two different meetings on the topic. It's to the point where there are actually guidelines for walking up and down the stairs (one step at a time, hold the handrail). Whatever you do, don't run with scissors.

All in all I think it was a good day. One day down, 32 years to go until retirement.

This was supposed to have been posted this morning but wasn't, due of course to Blogger difficulties:

It looks like Blogger is working again... temporarily. It's been seriously pissing me off all weekend. I mean there are millions and millions of you out there just dying for your daily dose of my wit, and here I am without reasonable means to deliver it. Life is rough.

Yesterday was my last day at Compucentre. Today I start my life as a fledgling accountant. I'm both nervous and excited at the same time. Excited at the prospect of a meaningful career, nervous that I might accidently sleep with the boss' wife or do something equally intelligent and get my ass fired from there in the first week. I imagine the day will be spent participating in some sort of orientation, followed by introductions to swarms of people I'm not going to remember the next day, and then I'll be shown what my day-to-day work will consist of.

I'm going to miss working with the guys (and girl). It was a blast.

Someone needs some serious help.

Want to be richer, smarter or sexier? This isn't the place to look.

Welcome to Digital Ramblings version 4.0. Same useless old drivel, brand spankin' new container!

Publish, damn you! I curse thee, orange button of misery!

Sitting here in an empty Compucentre store. Empty except for employees, that is. I guess I shouldn't complain. This is probably the last time that I'll actually be paid for inhaling oxygen (and occasionally ogling the girls working across the mall at the new American Eagle store).

Blogger is being stupid again and wouldn't let me post last night. Hopefully it'll be working by the time I get home today; I have some changes I'd like to make.

Well back to my breathing and ogling now. Maybe if I concentrate I can accomplish both at once.

You never realize how boring Oakville is until you entertain. My uncle and cousin are up from Trinidad for a few weeks and I can think of nothing to do to pass the hours, especially on a weekday morning. Normally I wouldn't even be awake before noon, but someone dragged me out of bed because she was lonely.

We have plans to visit one of my friends this afternoon, but even the couple hours between now and lunch are dragging by. I feel like I'm in one of my lectures in school again. Anyone have any ideas?

The atmosphere in the Air Canada Centre early this evening was electric. Random shouts of "Go Leafs Go" echoed throughout the complex and spilled out into Union Station. Leaf fans from all over gathered around the hockey rink to proudly display their blue and white, and to lend their moral support to those waging war in New Jersey in the seventh and deciding game of the second round.

It wasn't enough, however. The Leafs' playoff drive came to a screeching tonight in a disappointing 5-1 loss, giving up their lead, falling apart and never regaining their momentum. Near the end of the first period I made my way down to the souvenir shop and purchased an extra-large Leaf flag, in anticipation of a parade down the streets of Toronto. It sits on my bedroom floor now, to stay wrapped around its cheap dowel until next season.

Maybe by doing that I jinxed them. Probably not. It doesn't matter now. I just know that no series in the rest of the 2001 playoffs will get my heart racing the way this one did.

Off to watch the game on the Jumbotron in the ACC amongst a sea of blue & white. Go Leafs!

I finally did it. Tomorrow afternoon I'll be driving away my very first car, a '97 Ford Taurus. It had everything I wanted and was a decent price. It's funny, the dealer spent about as much time trying to sell me an extended warranty and rustproofing as he did with the car. That's where they make their margin, I guess.

What's gonna kill me is the insurance. Since I was involved in an accident last year and I'm a male under the age of 25, it's gonna cost me as much as the car payments. When the lady at the agency pulled up the file on the screen, I could swear it read "bend over".

So this is my welcome to real life, I guess. I can't wait for kids...

An assassination attempt has been made on my life. Charlie, you messed with the wrong mo' fo'.

Sweet. Raptors won again. Leafs play tonight. These are good days to be a Toronto Fan.

Counterfeit Adulation is up again; mdv's got a new package. Layout, that is. Guess this is deserving of linkage again.

New StorTrooper. Appropriate, methinks.

This is for you, Nikki:

Har har!!!

I just found out that everyone at work is going out for dinner tonight at the Mandarin. Apparently I was messaged over ICQ about this but it never reached me. I did have other plans (such as watching the Leaf game), but since the reason for the dinner is I'm leaving next week -- despite vehement protests from Dave -- I guess I should at least make an appearance. :o)

Had quite the eventful day yesterday. I spent the afternoon hiking along the trails in the Niagara Gorge, just a few miles past the falls. It was pretty hilly but I got used to it quickly, and the scenery was gorgeous. The rapids looked turquoise from where I was standing, which I thought was cool.

Legs stiff from the exertion I drove home to have some dinner and shower before I was off to Pickering to visit a friend from school. She took me to a gay bar called Diva's, where on Friday and Sunday nights they have cross-dresser singing impersonations. Her hair dresser is the owner and main performer there, and is also an old family friend. It was a lot of fun actually. She -- I'll just use the feminine form here -- did impersonations of Cher, Celine Dion and Paula Abdul, among others.

At one point everyone at our table (myself included) went up and slipped fives in her G-string. My friend was jealous of her looks, as Diva actually looked better than most women at the bar that night. Scary. I was just impressed that she could hid her package behind her skimpy underwear as well as she did.

We stayed till about 1am, and by the time I got home it was about three. Quel jour, though I'd say yesterday was worth the tank of gas it cost me.

Woohoo! Series tied 2-2. Go Leafs. Too bad about the Domi incident, though. Stuff like that has no place in the game of hockey, or any sport for that matter.

Went car shopping yesterday. I test-drove a '98 Ford Contour. The price was right and everything about it was good, except the engine seemed a little underpowered for the size of car. The hunt continues.

More trash-talk from Nikki:

The Leafs from Toronto are crappy
Seeing them lose makes me happy.
Go Devils, You will Win Win Win!!
And then Sanjay will owe me Okenogan.

She'll be lucky if she doesn't get her ass handed to her, just like New Jersey will tomorrow.

If I hear "It's not delivery, it's Delissio" one more time my tv's going through the window.

Went out to dinner yesterday to a Japanese restaurant in Niagara. It was the first time I've been to a place where the food is prepared right in front of me. Damn those chefs are talented. It made me want to learn how to do the spinney things with the knives so I can impress others with my manual dexterity.

After that I watched the Leafs lose in overtime -- again. Not my fault this time though... the parts I managed to see was when the Leafs scored (until overtime). So there.