"A million monkeys banging on a million typewriters for a million years will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare."

I missed the Superbowl this year. Well most of it anyways. I watched part of the second quarter while eating my dinner and I wasn't impressed. NFL football is a boring game when you get down to it, especially this one in particular. I was supposed to go to a friend's house to see the game but I was so wiped from last night and from work today that I ended up sleeping through the first quarter as well as the Backstreet Boys belting out the national anthem. At least I woke up in time to see 'N Sync and Brittney Spears perform at half time. Yay American pop culture...

Last night was the annual McMaster SOCS formal. One day and one night of gratuitous drunkenness and carrying on. It was a great time had by all, myself included. This one was extra special since this was my last year attending this event (as a student anyway).

Everyone behaved themselves last night except a couple of first-year girls on the next floor. You see, this was a catered event, and one of the boys serving us seemed to get extra attention from the ladies around him. I call him 'boy' because judging from his facial features I would have guessed he was about twelve. He is actually sixteen. His shift was over at midnight, but these two girls (aged 18 and 19 and more than a little tipsy) invited him up to their room to hang out with more of their friends. Being a red-blooded and chemically-imbalanced male teenager, it was physically impossible for him to refuse.

Once he was up there the girls proceeded to get him drunk. Him being the age he was, I don't think it took very long. Then the two of them started to give him hickeys while another guy (who happens to be the vice-president of SOCS) caught it on tape. I suspect by this time the boy was enjoying himself immensely. This went on until about 4am when this drunk and horny little boy decided to call home to inform his mom where he was.

It turns out that she was so worried about him not coming home from work that she had called the police to file a missing persons report. Of course they couldn't do anything until 24 hours had passed. But I have a feeling that she was one pissed off mom when her son finally came home. Especially after she finds out that her minor son was served booze and sexually accosted by drunken university students. This has the potential to be very very bad...

On the plus side, after the kid gets the biggest grounding of his life he'll have a pretty cool story to tell his buddies. I mean if I had a night like that back in high school my friends would worship me forever. I would be a god. Too bad the closest I ever came to something like that in high school was getting drunk in my friend's basement while watching porn videos and hoping not to get caught by his parents. Oh well, it's a good thing I can live vicariously through underage hotel waiters.

Seems like everybody's been redesigning their site lately. Makes mine seem like it ranks somewhere between mediocre and that dirty grey fuzz that gathers behind the fridge. Check out jish.nu.

My apologies to any American readers... (tee hee)

A Canadian is having his 'petit dejeuner' (coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam) when an American man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Canadian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: "You Canada folk eat the whole bread??"

Canadian (in a bad mood): "Of course."

American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Canada." The American has a smirk on his face.

The Canadian listens in silence.

The American persists: "D'ya eat jelly with the bread?"

Canadian: "Of course."

American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Canada."

The Canadian then asks: "Do you have sex in America?"

American: "Why of course we do", the American says with a big smirk.

Canadian: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

American: "We throw them away, of course."

Canadian: "We don't. In Canada, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Americans."

Less than three weeks into the new term. And four weeks behind. Sigh...

Okay I lied. One post. Trish has redone her site again. A lot easier on the eyes than the purple was, though that one wasn't bad either. Keep up the good work.

And Dave has graced us with another story. Dave has a way with words. I guess this is also to alleviate his guilt for not posting for the previous week or so. =)

No creative blog today. I'm tired. Good night.

Ever wanted to play Montreal Canadiens pong? It's been my dream for years. Well here it is.

Looks like my evil twin has been doing some remodeling. I like.

My co-worker Jeff had an interesting experience at the store yesterday. Craving some delicious Tim Horton's goodness, he took a trip to the food court and was on his way back holding a tray with chili (in one of those edible bread bowls) when he thought he heard someone call his name. He turned his head to look but failed to stop his forward motion and slammed full-force into a post, nose first. His glasses went flying and so did his chili, making quite the mess. Not wanting to attract any unwanted attention, he left the mess on the floor and nonchalantly made his way back to the store, hungry and embarassed, and spent the next few minutes repairing the damaged frames on his specs.

He blames his misfortunes on that dastardly sun shining in his face at the time. I'm taking bets on who's gonna be first to fall to the clutches of Natural Selection. Jeff, or Oreo (see Jan 17th post). I pick Oreo to outlive Jeff. Send me an email with your pick.

Joe's phone is back. No more left-hand fun for him.

Well maybe after having some dinner and numbing my brain with tv.

Had a shitty day today. I'm going to bed.

Joe's phone is gone. Looks like he's gonna have to find some other use for his hand.

Kelsey sent me this link. It's a composite of pictures of the Earth taken on the dark side. Worth checking out. Just make sure you're at your screen is at its max resolution (@ 16-bit colour) cuz the image is 2400x1200 pixels. Works best with Internet Explorer for most people as it has the fullscreen function built-in. Enjoy!

Oh happy day! An apparently very bitter Feavs has finally updated his weblog, and even included a link to me! My life is finally complete.

Kelsey's kitten Oreo had himself an adventure this morning. Oreo likes the fridge. He likes it so much he climbs in every time someone opens the door and has to get physically evicted before it closes again. Yesterday was such an occasion. Kelsey's younger brother Josh had the munchies and so decided to raid the fridge to ease his cravings. Of course Oreo clambered right inside as soon as the fridge light went on, but this time it went unnoticed. Unnoticed for about two hours actually, until someone heard the pathetic whimpering coming from the kitchen. The door was opened and out jumped a very cold and frightened kitten who should have learned his lesson. Oreo isn't the brightest of kittens however, and at the next possible opportunity he jumped right back inside.

I figure between these escapades and his constant aggrivation of Kelsey's much older (and bigger) Golden Retriever, it won't be long before Oreo is claimed by Natural Selection. Bets anyone?

Oh wait, according to the other one only 14 people visited here. Guess I'm not so popular after all.

Wow... according to eXtreme Tracking 45 people visited me yesterday. Though most of them were random surfers coming from Blogger, it's still nice to know that I've got an audience. I feel loved.

Booked our hotel room for the McMaster SOCS Formal today. It's happening on the 27th of this month and for me is has been the highlight of the year every time I went. Many things have changed over the years I've been in university, but the Formal routine of dressing up, drinking, dinner, drinking, dancing, drinking and eventually crashing has remained the same. Rumour has it that Twister is going to make its way into someone's hotel room, too. Should be interesting since this probably won't get used until closer to the end of the night.

Watch for pictures on the website next month.

A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that, but:

1) You have to be single and
2) You must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says, "Ok, pull into the next alley." He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I must confess I lied, I'm married and Jewish."

The nun says, "That's ok, my name's Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."

Cool... first video preview has been released for Final Fantasy X for PlayStation 2. About as unofficial as you can get, though. It was recorded sideways at a film festival in Tokyo and more often than not obscured by the crowd, but kinda neat nonetheless. Kudos to the anonymous camera guy for escaping with his nuts intact.

Added a couple of new features tonight. Site trackers from Stats4all and Extreme Digital. Thought there would be more to it than cutting and pasting a couple of scripts. (Not that I'm complaining.) Now I can see you seeing me. Mwa ha ha. I rule.

I finished fixing Yvonne's computer today and dropped it off at her house. Since she is a good friend, of course I was doing it out of the kindness of my heart, sans any kind of recompense. But she was so overjoyed at finally having a working computer, she turned around and showered me with presents. An Austrian bottle of wine (her favourite) and gift certificates for The Bay. Although it was a little excessive, I thought that was really nice of her. I like presents. Presents good.

I see Dave has made up for three weeks of neglecting his weblog. Dave doesn't do anything small. Just look at his hair.

Hmm... looks like Joe found another Digital Ramblings out there. Great minds think alike, I guess.

1 German "fat" porn video
1 string of anal beads
3 flavoured condoms
2 chocolate breasts
1 matchbook from a male strip joint
69 demonstration
92 other items
3/4 tank of gas
1 pool tournament won
and 0 classes

equals...

One successful scavenger hunt at Mac.

Damn I'm enjoying higher education.

Bought me a new toothbrush today. You don't know clean until you've tried one of these puppies:

I've decided I'm not doing anything more with this site tonight. I've lost way too much sleep over this thing. And it's not even near anywhere where I want it to look like.. yet. Good night, folks. I'm taking a holiday.

Kelsey's saying I've been really nice lately. Don't know what it is I'm doing, but I hope I find out soon so I can save up some more brownie points for when I eventually do something stupid. :o)~

Trinidad was a balmy 28 degrees Celcius today. Sigh...

I've always wondered about those Backstreet Boys. Now I'm sure. Crank the speakers.

I've added the archive and my contact info. Didn't realize it would take so long. There goes another night's sleep. At least Blogger was working pretty fast tonight. Hope it stays that way. I've got to stop doing this or I'm gonna start dozing off in class. As if there wasn't enough incentive to fall asleep already.

This was a bad idea to put my pooter in my bedroom. Even a worse idea to run 50' of cable through my house from the main floor where my cable modem (and the family pooter) is. (Mom really appreciates the new decor.) Hopefully the novelty of my own weblog will start wearing off soon so I can get a decent night's rest. Probably not, though.

By the way, now that my contact info is up, none of you have any excuse not to email me to tell me how wonderful my site is and how it's changed your life forever.

ttfn...

Well, it's finally finished. Or finally started, whichever way you want to look at it. I now have a weblog that looks halfway decent. I wasn't even planning to finish it tonight. I started at 9pm, and that became 10pm, and 10 became 11pm and so on, until you see this page before you. Many thanks to joe for helping me work out some bugs tonght.

Now I want to get my archive back, and then create some kind of form or guestbook so I can get some feedback from visitors. After that I'll add some tracking stuff like stats4all so I can keep track of who's coming and going. Hopefully I'll get time to do all this (I'm kinda new to html), but school's started again so I don't have the free time that I used to. Oh well, as Ben Stein says, "I shall do my best".

Time for bed. Mmm... sleep....

I noticed Trish has got her new layout done. Very purple.

Woohoo! For the first time I've been included in the Links section of someone elses weblog. Thanks WebWaste! Of course this means that now I have to speed things up in designing a new layout for my own weblog as I might actually get some traffic over here besides myself. I've kinda got one in the works right now. It's not gonna be spectacular, but it'll look better than this default Blogger template. Oh well, off to work...

Hmm... I think it's about time to get rid of the Christmas wallpaper from my desktop.

Slogeco has been a bitch the last couple of days. Internet access has been down for two nights. It felt like I was shipwrecked during a three-hour tour.

I see Joecool has got his new layout up on WebWaste. Very spiffy.

Well, happy new year's, all. I got back from a cottage party at my friend Jeff's place this afternoon. It was fun, but I drank some painful drinks and I'm still hurting. I threw one of them against the wall for fun, to see what would happen. The paint started peeling off the wall. I wasn't hung over at all this morning, just really run-down. Especially since I came home after two and a half hours of driving, showered and changed, and then was off to my aunt's place for a get-together avec relatives. I just got home.

Anyone who tries to talk to me before noon tomorrow will have their teeth kicked in. Good night.